


Unwell

by spaghetti_and_star_trek



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Comfort, F/M, One Shot, Panic Attacks, could be tos or aos, star trek one shot, take your pick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 08:05:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11710275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaghetti_and_star_trek/pseuds/spaghetti_and_star_trek
Summary: A lieutenant is having a panic attack and arrives in sick bay to be found by Doctor McCoy after being sent there by the Captain. For the good Doctor, it's no problem to help her. Soon enough, there's no problem for her, either.





	Unwell

**Author's Note:**

> (Originally posted on tumblr)

Doctor McCoy sat in front of a monitor in the sickbay pacing his eyes over a couple dozen more medical reports (as was his wont for a slow day on the ship). Yes, there may have been no need, but he needed to busy himself somehow; his shift didn’t end for at least a good 40-some minutes yet.

The time of day was fairly late to him. After all, in space there wasn’t really an astronomical “morning” or “night”. The doctor discovered that depending on who you are, you could always seem to identify at least _some_ terrestrial time of the day on the ship. The assumed time wouldn’t always be right, but one would definitely get a feeling of time, even though you’ve been pulled out of it.

Leonard sensed that the time of day was somewhere around 10pm. He knew it wasn’t nearly right, but that’s the time his mind was set on. Despite the feeling of _actual_ time, the lonely feeling in the sickbay made the time seem to be 1am rather than the close 8pm that it really was.

But it didn’t make a difference; if it felt like it was 1am in space, it was damn well 1am to him. Now that he mentioned it to himself that it “was” 1am, the thought occurred to the CMO that many crewmembers are asleep now (or should be), and he was beginning to want to join them fairly soon.

Sighing nonchalantly, he pulled out the data card from the computer and set it away with the rest of the ones like it. It was then that the sickbay doors ten feet away from him slid open, and a Science Officer whom he’d never seen before entered his presence.

The doctor’s head shot up at the sound of the doors swishing open, and took in the sight of her immediately. She entered normally, but seemed a little slow. “Cautious” seemed the better word to describe her, as he could tell by how she was holding her hands together and moving one thumb back and forth to stroke the opposite hand.

When he made eye contact with her straight away, he suddenly had a smile on his face. Just beginners manners, he supposed. She seemed like a very lovely and charming person just by looks. She give a smile of equal intensity in return as she walked over to the desk Leonard was sitting at.

“Can I help you?” he asked, his sight following her as she paced over to him.

She hummed a tiny and ever so gently nervous laugh, “Yes, I believe so. Are you Doctor McCoy?”

Bones took immediate notice of how her voice shook when she spoke.

“Yes, I am,” he leaned forward onto his elbows and tilted his head at her, “What do you need?”

As he spoke again, he took notice of how her legs were trembling and how the movement of her thumb on her hand still persisted.

“Well, doctor, the Captain suggested I stop in here and speak to you. It was more like very soft order. He said…” she inhaled shakily but quickly. “…he said you’d help me lot. And that I can trust him when he says that I can and _will_ trust you.”

Leonard thought about what she told him, “Is this medically related?” he questioned. She nodded.

“Well, trusting the doctor is a start, for one thing,” McCoy joked.

The Science Officer chuckled at the joke. A little too fast, he supposed; almost like she was acting. She looked down at her still-folded hands and stroking thumb. She also rubbed her throat more than once as well. That’s when everything clicked for Doctor McCoy.

Bones now took notice that around her eyes and nose was slightly red and it made it even more clear. All of these things pieced together a bigger picture for him. Her ragged breathing, her hands, the stroking motion of her thumb, the trembling in her legs; it made sense to him in a second. Bones now knew why she was in here with him, and why Jim sent her down to begin with. It also made sense to why he had told her more than once that she could trust him here;

Because he probably saw as well that this Officer was having a panic attack.

_Proceed carefully. Don’t ask anything demanding of her. I should ask why she came, but I don’t want to make her admit to her condition; it would only make her more nervous._

_You need to notice her condition ‘first’; you’re the doctor here. Be subtle._

_Be caring._

When she looked back up, still forcing a smile, the doctor asked her carefully, “What’s your name?”

“Lieutenant L/N.” she answered normally and formally, even though McCoy could sense the masking in her voice.

“No, no, your first name.” he corrected gently, wanting to sound as caring as possible for her.

She raised an eyebrow in confusion, not understanding the suddenly casual request, “Y/N.”

“Y/N,” he repeated, and looked at her with a concerned frown very softly and said quietly, “Are you alright? You never said what you need help with…?”

Her eyes widened a little and she took in a shaky breath. It took her a second or two to respond; as if this were the hardest question she’s ever been asked.

Bones stood up and walked over to her as she breathed, “No, I’m not alright.”

He placed a hand on her shoulder and said in the same quiet voice, “And that’s just fine, dear; I see exactly what’s going on.”

“That obvious, huh?” she chuckled and frowned, voice still trembling like grass in the wind.

“I’m a doctor; I can spot an anxiety attack a light year away.” McCoy smiled at her and ushered her to a bed, “You do seem skilled in the art of concealing it, however. I almost didn’t recognize it.”

“It seems I’ve been concealing it too long,” she whispered, catching her breath, “I’ve gotten the hang of it… but I suppose the Captain saw right through it.”

“He’s known to do things like that. But he was right, by the way; I can help you a lot, and you can most certainly trust me.”

They both sat down as Y/N tried to take a deep breath, but did not succeed and gasped when the calming breath was not achieved. The bio-scanner above the bed flicked on when it detected her and showed her increased heart rate and blood pressure. The beeping expelling from it made the young Officer close her eyes and exhale in a single breath, “Make it stop.”

Immediately, Leonard got up and flipped a switch at the bottom of the scanner, the beepings gone at once.

“Sorry about that, it’s automatic,” he sat back next to her and placed his left hand onto one of hers. “Take my hand, Y/N,” he urged sweetly, and she did as requested, at first being light, but steadily increasing the strength in her grip as the seconds timed away achingly. McCoy stroked her hand with his thumb, recalling all the times he had to do something very similar with Jim.

“Now breathe along with me, even if you can’t breathe in all the way, that’s perfectly fine. Do all you can and focus on that.”

He took a fast deep breath to match her breathing, and she did as he did. Gradually, he slowed down his own breathing so she’d follow suit. When they got to that stage, her slow breaths were shaky, but improved. Y/N was still trembling and now swaying, as she was becoming slightly dizzy.

_A dizzy feeling means her adrenaline level is falling. She’s strong and improving._

“It may feel as if you’re falling or collapsing into copious fragments, and that nothing is supporting you so you don’t fall under. You may even sense you’re not here because of how easy it is to fall under like that. Sometimes you can’t help but think you need to fall under. I say that’s perfectly fine, so as long as you land on something soft. Now, you might forget it now and then, but you are being supported.” he simply declared to her, “And you are most certainly here. You’re not falling under; you’re safely resting here with me, and nothing can hurt you right now. We’re as unscathed as can be. And if you just so happen to fall under even more, I’m gonna dive down right after you.”

Y/N whispered with a nod, eyes closed, “Ok…tell me everything’s going to be alright…”

He tightened his grip on her hand slightly, “Everything… is going to be alright, Y/N. A little suffering’s good for the soul, anyhow.”

_So far, and so good, but we’ve got a long way to go before I can declare her all right now._

“Can you tell me how long this has been going on for?” McCoy hummed to the Officer.

She traced her thoughts back sooner than the doctor anticipated, “About 2 hours, maybe a little longer. I was doing a complete report for the Captain on the biological effects of the Spore plants on Omicron Ceti III when it began.”

She breathed steadily, now focused on the topic a bit more.

_Good, take her mind off of the attack and focus her on something else. She’s almost just like Jim when he has an attack._

“I ignored it as always but of course I start shaking, my chest hurts, my throat’s tight, and I’m telling myself that I’ll die any second, and the next thing I know I can’t breathe but I’m breathing anyways… and I can’t control it. Something’s obviously wrong with me-” She shivered and breathed heavily, allowing a noise to escape that sounded like a sob crossed with a gasp. A few tears finally trailed down her face. Leonard wrapped his right arm around her and pulled her closer to him.

“Nothing’s wrong with you, Lieutenant,” he stated in a hopeful manner, a smile edging on his face, “You’re just a little unwell; a little worried. It’s perfectly rational, because that slight fear of the unknown is how we survive; it keeps us alive. Just the right amount of fear completes us and gives us that human nature that’s crucial to our existence.”

“It keeps me alive, yes, and I don’t let it get in my way,” she added, sniffing, “I never do, but it just kept growing more and more by the minute and I would’ve kept going on with it normally like that if the Captain didn’t notice.”

“And what did the Captain say?”

“It was after I handed him the report. He asked me if everything was all right with me. I told him everything was well, but he wouldn’t let it go. I was dizzy now that I was on my feet, so I guess I was swaying or something, and I knew I was only trying to focus on him, so I kept… moving my eyes around his area a lot.” she recalled, maintaining her thick breathing, but not in a struggling way. “It might’ve been my breathing that gave it away, too. Sometimes I think I don’t know how to do that anymore,” she continued, chuckling away some more tears. She then hung her head and remained silent, “I honestly thought I would faint. Then the Captain came closer and said to me very quietly that he knew how I was feeling, and that I should go see you, because to you is where he goes when he’s stricken down like this.”

Bones raised his eyebrow and wiped away her tears, “He did? That’s a… bit of surprise. I’m the only one who knows about the Captain’s anxiety apart from Mister Spock. I’ll tell you, I’m shocked he let that slip.”

She nodded and exhaled, but not as shakily this time, “Guess he can trust me now, can’t he? It’s astonishing, though; a man as courageous as him having a problem like this. Makes me realize I’m not the only one.”

_Progress. Simple, effective, important progress._

“Yeah, I can relate to that. But that’s always something nice to think of. Not being alone.”

She squeezed his hand again, desperate for comfort and relief. Continuing her attempt to gather herself (and to also stop the dizziness), she rested her head on McCoy’s shoulder. He smiled at the action; he couldn’t help but think of how wholesome, sweet, and gentle it was.

“Thank you for everything, Doctor,” the Officer sniffed, “I’ll have to thank the Captain later as well.”

“All in a day’s work, Y/N; don’t you worry about a thing,” she was assured by the good doctor, “I’ll have to thank the Captain for that later, too. It’s a touching story, really. And besides, even if the worst happens and you do faint now,” he mused, “At least you’ll faint into the arms of the Chief Medical Officer. You’ll be in the best possible care, Y/N.”

Now he didn’t see it, but he just knew that Y/N smiled when she said, “I think I am already.”

Bones could hear her breathing being a lot more steady and even now. The tears on her face were drying, and her trembling was nearly non-existent. She’ll definitely sleep there in sick bay tonight, simply because the good doctor did not want her to be alone just yet, especially after he’d just gotten familiar with her condition.

He really _did_ owe Jim after this one. They both still had a way to go before they could thank him, however, but Leonard did know that the worst of this was over.

_It’s all right now._

McCoy lifted her hand up, gently touched his lips to the skin, and lowered it back down, still moving his thumb back and forth on top of it.

“That you are, Lieutenant. That you are.”


End file.
